What happens if things didn't turn out the way you wanted it to be.
That you're helpless because you still have to rely on someone to get it done.
when you had so much hope that miracle could happen.
When you thought if maybe the person that could help wouldn't fight for you, you should fight for yourself ?

I could get all discouraged and feel sorry for myself or get angry angry at God. For not giving me what I've asked for.

Yes. I am discouraged. I feel sorry for myself, that my tears are at the back of my throat threatening to roll down from my eyes..


But at the end of the day. All these are just superficial things.
I guess I just have to be patient and wait. Or even be thankful that it's only superficial things.
I'm glad that I read the book of job recently, knowing that things are still under controlled.

* when you try your best but you don't succeed. When you do what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse "

I wish I have someone to share all these with other than God.
But all these things ain't something that people would understand. The last thing I want is for people to sympathize.