“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. “You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. “You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family. (‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭3-6, 8-9‬ MSG)

This reminder came in handy.

The recent year was a calming sea after the storm, I got less worried about life because it seemed like God has taken care of everything.
Only to realize I grow most when I'm out of my comfort zone.
I began to ask for God to change me, with fear though. The thoughts of crying, inevitable heartaches still haunts me from time to time, I was scared. But I know to become a woman of God, there will be a lot of moulding to do.

It wasn't just a time of rest though, it was a time where all the puzzles seems to be fitting.
I found answers in so many things.
The theory of "chili sauce and water" to quench your thirst.
We tend to go for the chili sauce first(our friends) before finally reaching for the water (God)
It is only when the chili sauce isn't there, we look to God.

I'm really praying with all my heart that this seeming last puzzle piece will be fitted.
I don't share with people because I'm afraid of people seeing the weak side of me.
Behind those smiles, there will always be sorrows that people can't see.
Behind those smiles, are the things that once upset us that has changed for the better.
I'm looking forward to have the biggest smile ever :)